


Found Wanting

by Miicah



Category: Still Star-Crossed (TV)
Genre: F/M, I don't even know what to tag this, I just really love these three okay, Meta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-31
Updated: 2017-05-31
Packaged: 2018-11-07 02:01:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11048970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miicah/pseuds/Miicah
Summary: She wantedhim, a man that would not define her but would re-write the world together.It wasn’t status or power or currency he would take to the grave, it waslove.But she didn’t want that, she told him, and her kiss lefthimwanting, regretting, and nowall three of themknew that he was failing in his duty.(An introspective look on Rosaline, Benvolio and Escalus and how they view the state of their lives up until the end of the first episode.)





	Found Wanting

**Author's Note:**

> This started off as a meta, I swear, and maybe it still is, but it got sorta long and seemed kinda fanfic-y so I was like heck, might as well just stick it here. I had a lot of feels after that episode and it just won't go away (and watching it on repeat wasn't helping) so I just had to write it out! I will definitely post more or turn it into a proper fic as the season goes on!
> 
> Originally posted [here](http://questingtheworld.tumblr.com/post/161252463082) on my tumblr.

Rosaline didn’t always used to be so jaded. She used to be a lot like Livia, once upon a time when their parents were alive and their family was whole and she and Escalus had a seemingly promising future together, stuck in the haze of the honeymoon-phase of their flirtation/relationship. But then their parents were killed and Escalus left Verona without so much as a goodbye and she’s been made into the servant for her own cousin. Livia is the youngest, the burden of carrying their now family of two is on Rosaline’s shoulders, and she no longer has the luxury of seeing the world through rose-coloured glasses. She’s desperate to cling onto the simple things like reading for fun and having her own bed that she never realized she had taken for granted before, and has experienced first hand that she cannot depend on a man to care for her, not now that those same men are depending on her, not when they weren’t they when she needed them most.

(What does she _want_? She can’t even put into words all the _intangible_ things she wants. But she knows what she _doesn’t_ want, and it isn’t her old life where she had her head in the sand, and it’s not this life she has now where she can be given her away like an object to a man from the family that had taken her parents away, her family, her _agency_ , by the order of the very man she had hoped would _never_ see her that way. She wanted _him_ , a man that would not define her but would re-write the world _together_.)

***

Those on the outside looking in would think that Benvolio had the life people could only dream of. Okay, his parents were dead before he really ever got to know them, but the weight of the family honour had always belonged to Romeo anyway, not him. He was ‘free’ to do whatever he wanted, and most of Verona believed he exercised that right consuming more liquor than water and spending more time in brothels than his own house and seeing women just for the _night_ instead of for _forever_. (But, to be fair, between his parents and the constantly dwindling numbers of the remaining Montague lineage he knows life is fleeting and who could fault him for living life to the fullest? And if he were to be betrothed to another, however long that might be considering, shouldn’t it be with someone he truly _loved_ , or else what was the point? It wasn’t status or power or currency he would take to the grave, it was _love_.)

And he lost the only two people he loved within mere hours of one another—Mercutio and Romeo. And if that wasn’t bad enough, _he_ was now the heir his cousin was meant to be, albeit very begrudgingly on both his and his uncle’s part. But Mercutio had died because of this feud, and Romeo had hoped to stop the said feud with his marriage to Juliet, so the least he could do for them both was to agree to marry a Capulet, right? Except it had to be the one woman that did not fall for his manners and charm and it both infuriated and intrigued him. If nothing else, they shared the commonality of being used by their families, their _city_ , like this, and maybe, somehow, in a distant future, that understanding would balm their tattered souls _together_. And not even the very Prince that put him in this position would deter him. Hell, it only fuelled him more.

***

Duty would always have to come first for Escalus; it was the price of the blood that ran through him. There was a time when he was still green behind the ears and his father was still in his prime and all that his title meant were elegant balls and people bowing at him and the city as his oyster. A time when he felt so bold as to be determined to tell his father that he would take Rosaline’s hand in marriage, for though she had a title it wasn’t quite _royal_ but he would make sure it was enough. And then Rosaline’s parents were murdered and he had to leave at a time when she needed him the _most_ , but it was _because_ of the escalating turmoil between the Capulets and the Montagues that his father had sent him away, protecting his heir at all costs. But things outside their little bubble of a city were as golden as his father probably envisioned, and it was that debilitating fear that he carried with him upon his return to his father’s deathbed.

He did not expect things to be the same, not after all the time that had passed, but he also did not expect things to be so _different_ , either, with what Rosaline being treated far less than she ever deserved and Verona _literally burning_ all around him. He needed his fair city united, fighting the forces that threatened them beyond and not each other, and he truly believed he could solve two problems at once when he had suggested the union of Benvolio and his beloved Rosaline. Benvolio was a decent man, he made sure to be certain of that, and it would elevate Rosaline back to her previous status. But she didn’t want that, she told him, and her kiss left him wanting, regretting, and now _all three of them_ knew that he was failing in his duty.

**Author's Note:**

> Upon re-watching I realized Rosaline's mom didn't die that night, but their dad was stabbed, so I'm not sure how she died or what but I had assumed they were murdered together whoops.
> 
> Also Benny needs love, there is a lot of feelings inside that guy, man. They all need love; I'm gonna need the three of them to be together okay make it happen Escalus. You're Prince, what's more stronger than royal blood and the blood of the two most powerful families in your city eh?


End file.
